i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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