I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
