She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
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Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My vagina is officially offended.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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