I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
