He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
