I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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