Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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