it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We left the knife in your bed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
