well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
