how hairy? two words: wookie tits
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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