I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
