At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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