make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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