If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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