i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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