Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
