Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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