I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just sent this text using only my big toe
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
