Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So many bounce houses so little time
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
