I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
