he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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