He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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