I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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