Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize