Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize