So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
