this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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