all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just had sex bonerless
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.