Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.