clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.