whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.