I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
