Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
