Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
