You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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