I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
