I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
