i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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