Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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