3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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