Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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