My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
