Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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