ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
