Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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