the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
