Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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