Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
