he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
