So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
