I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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