Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
