My Higher Power is John Stamos
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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