I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
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eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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