he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
