I think I am morally bankrupt
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
