Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
