Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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